


Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better

by SoundandColor



Category: Bridesmaids (2011)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Female Protagonist, Gen, LGBTQ Female Character, Misses Clause Challenge, Pre-Femslash, Women Being Awesome, Yuletide Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-20
Updated: 2011-12-20
Packaged: 2017-10-27 15:05:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/297141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoundandColor/pseuds/SoundandColor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I’ve got amazing lesdar, Annie. Ah-<i>mazing</i> lesdar and you pinged it right from the beginning.”</p><p>Or the exact moment Annie realizes she’s been in love with Helen the entire time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hungryghosts](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hungryghosts/gifts).



For the first time in a long time, Annie has her life in order.

She’s the junior pastry chef in the up-and-coming restaurant beneath her tiny rental apartment and, despite the shitty economy, her bakery finally sold. She has an amazing boyfriend who talks Irish and rubs her feet and when Lil comes home from her honeymoon and offhandedly mentions that Helen is separating from her asshole husband, Annie doesn’t immediately betray the thrill that goes up her spine. She waits until Lil turns—digging in her purse for some Chapstick or something—before grinning.

 Annie’s growing up.

-

Helen leases Lil’s old place and Annie is wrangled into helping with the move.

She doesn’t hate Helen, not really, not anymore. There’s just an itch that appears beneath her skin every time the woman shows up. An annoying little tug in the pit of her stomach that Annie hates and can’t bring herself to ignore. So when Helen traps her in Lil’s old room with a fist full of tissues and a plaintive look, it’s not really her fault that her first instinct is to push her aside and make a run for it.

“Helen—”

 “I’m sure you know that Percy and I are separating.”

“Yeah…” Annie wonders if one should say _my condolences_ in a situation like this. Neither of them are dead but the marriage is, so it might sort of work. She splits her losses and just keeps quiet.  Helen doesn’t need the prompt to continue speaking anyway. 

“Well, I wanted to ask your advice on what I should do. I mean, you’ve been through this a couple of times before.” She takes a deep breath and Helen laughs deeply. “Am I right?”

Annie clears her throat. “Right. Well, you know,” she says, gingerly patting Helen’s shoulder. “You just have to keep busy.”

Helen looks up at Annie, and even though her eyes are all wet and red-rimmed, she still somehow manages to be the most beautiful woman in the room. The something in her gut tugs harder, and she pulls her hand back against her side.

“Keep busy, huh?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, I’ve started to write. Just a little, you know, a short novel—”

“Of _course_ you have.”

“—And I was wondering if you’d look it over for me. Lillian told me you were an English major and I just need someone with a fresh eye. It would really help me out.”

She wants to say no, but she can’t. It seems like they have a lot in common these days. Annie thinks that maybe their fucked up adult lives are because they’re both only children. Neither of them had to face the crushing childhood blow of realizing that they were no longer the most important thing in their parents’ universe. Neither of them watched the adults in her life go from cooing over everything she did to cooing over some little shrimp. Maybe that’s why Annie’s been falling on her face for years while Helen has been finding more attractive ways to fail.

She can’t turn her back on her.

Annie smiles. “Email it to me.”

-

Annie tries not to react when her landlord tells her she’ll have to be gone by the end of the month. Something about the restaurant growing so quickly and their needing more room and isn’t she _so excited_! Not really, not when she’s on a tight budget and her only option is going back to her mother.

“What about Helen?” Lil asks at breakfast the next morning. They haven’t been able to talk as much now that Lil’s got a husband and a house on the outskirts of the city. Annie’s happy to see her.

“What about her?”

“You know my old apartment has two rooms and,” she lowers her voice, “Helen’s husband is getting serious about filing. She thinks he’s hiding money.”

 “Oh, _noooo_ …”

Lil gives her the side eye and Annie eats a forkful of waffle with a shrug. “I’m being serious. That’s pretty messed up.”

“It is. So, you know, she could use the extra money, and the company too.”

“I don’t know. I was thinking about talking to Nathan about moving in with him. He’s got that whole house over there and we’re happy together.”

“It’s kinda soon for that, huh?”

“Well, I figure we’re going to be moving in together one day anyway; why not now?”

Lily nods and takes another bite of her food. “If you say so. Just keep Helen in mind, all right?”

Annie agrees but doesn’t really mean it. She and Helen get along a lot better now, but living together is not an option.

-

She and Nathan meet at his house later that night, order a pizza, and curl up on the couch together and try to decide how they’re going to spend the night.

 “We can watch a movie on Netflix.”

“I don’t have a subscription.”

“Oh, we could just use mine. I—“

Nathan makes a regretful sound as he takes the Wii remote from her hand. “We can’t do that.”

“Yes, we can. I just have to—“ She reaches for the remote again only to have him move it further away and grimace in her general direction. “Or not…”

“I’m sorry but that’s illegal in Tennessee.”

“What’s illegal?”

“Sharing a Netflix account.”

She studies him a moment before they both begin to laugh and she reaches for the remote only to have him pull it farther out of her grasp. “What the hell, Nathan!”

“It’s illegal.”

“In Tennessee!“

“But the law will probably migrate over here soon enough. I don’t want to…” He shakes his head like the thought of it is enough for an arrest warrant to be issued. “I just can’t let you do that.”

“Come on!”

“I’m sorry, babe, I just can’t do it.”

She thinks of that ugly carrot he just had to pick up, of Nathan making her ride in the backseat of his cruiser in her bridesmaid dress. “You’re serious.”

“We could watch—” he starts, moving to the floor and searching the cases beneath his TV before pulling one free. “ _The Expendables_? We love this movie.”

“ We sure do,” Annie finally agrees, shaking her fists in faux happiness. They’ve already seen it five times but he loves it so much and she can’t say no to that face. She smiles tightly as he sets it up and comes back to the couch, taking her under his arm. Annie pulls her feet up under her thighs and wraps her arm around his middle. She moves her shoulder behind, then in front of his, trying to settle, but even though he’s warm and he smells good and Nathan easily finds a comfy position, nothing Annie tries feels quite right.

-

After that night, she doesn’t want to push too hard with Nathan and, reluctantly, Annie moves in with Helen exactly a week later. The transition isn’t as awful as she thought it would be. They share the chores, they’re polite, and they’ve even started to go shopping together. It almost feels like Helen is becoming a friend.

When Annie comes home from work one evening, Helen’s standing in the front room fully dressed, putting on a pair of diamond drop earrings. Knee length black dress with a conservative neckline and a somewhat scandalous dropped back. She looks elegant but still sexy. Annie never looks that good in clothes. Helen turns to the side to face her and she just stares for a second before speaking. “You look… nice.”

“Thanks. I’ve been trying to call you.”

“My phone died and I didn’t have my charger.”

“Well, I planned a little housewarming, but if you’re too tired—”

“No,” Annie replies quickly, “ just let me go get dressed.”

“Megan and Lillian will be here in 20 minutes.”

“All right, I’ll hurry.” Annie jumps in the shower, puts on one of her nicer dresses and some light make-up, and when she comes out, Helen and Lil are listening with rapt attention as Megan speaks goes on about that time she met John Mellancamp backstage after a concert in Rio. By the things she hears, Annie’s really happy to have missed most of it.

“We should probably carpool over—”

“We don’t have to drive, actually. I picked someplace close so we could all have a drink or two. I’ve been reading this little food and wine blog lately and they give the best tips for restaurants. Somewhere nice but too crowded. It’s sort of on the cusp.”

“Well I’m ready to get drinkin’,” Megan says flatly and everyone laughs as they make their way out of the door and down the street, window shopping and talking about their days. Annie feels happy, like this whole arrangement might actually work out, when Helen points to a building in the middle of the street.

“Here we are.”

Annie almost doesn’t recognize it at first. Its facade has been redesigned and the sheer amount of people going in and coming out wasn’t something that happened when she was a regular here, but she doesn’t think she could ever forget this place.

“Oh shit…”

“What,” Helen asks Lil. “What is it?”

“This is where Cake Baby used to be,” she whispers to Helen, glancing at the side of Annie’s face.  

Annie stares at the vague outline where the sign for her failed bakery had hung for months before she has to look away.

“it seems like it’s doin' pretty well,” Megan says, hands on her hips. “Guess it wasn’t…” her voice lowers, like she realizes she should stop but the words keep on coming, “the location.”

“Annie,” Lily says, ignoring everyone else and starting to move toward her. “Helen didn’t know.”

“You know what?” I forgot,” she throws her hands up on a laugh that sounds as fake as it is and tries to fight off the embarrassing tears she can feel gathering, “I made some plans with Nathan. I should probably go—”

“Oh no, please,” Helen says quickly. “We can go somewhere else. I didn’t—”

Annie doesn’t wait for her to finish speaking. “I have to go.”

“Annie!”

She turns and walks away briskly, only beginning to run after she’s turned the corner and is out of their sight.

-

“Hey, Annie! Everything all—she pushes past Nathan without saying a word. “Right?”

“Helen. “ She throws her hands up in what she’s sure he considers a psychotic manner. “ _Fucking_ , Helen!”

“Of course,” he says, closing the door.  “ _Helen_.”

“She,” Annie starts pacing, “she’s just such a two-faced bitch and I can’t stand her anymore! She’s got everyone fooled, you know—everyone!  But not me!”

“Annie, stop.”

“You know she planned a party for us at Cake Baby.”

“What?”

“Yeah! Then she claimed she didn’t even know!”

“How could she throw a party there? It’s closed down—”

“A restaurant took over the space and, even though it’s still a recession, it seems to be doing pretty fucking well.”

 “ _Annie,”_ Nathan puts his hands on her shoulders and forces her to stop. “A bakery and a restaurant are two very different things and just because they’re doing well doesn’t mean you did something wrong. Now, please, stay still for a second.”

She stops and takes a breath, “She did it on purpose, Nathan.”

“Well, maybe she did and maybe she didn’t.”

“Come on!”

“Did you ever tell her about your bakery?”

“Not in so many words! But Lil—”

“Probably did. That doesn’t mean she took her on a guided tour, Annie. “

“But—”

“Let’s go to the store. We’ll get something to drink and when we come back, I’ll cook us something to eat.” He rubs her shoulders. “It’ll give you some time to calm down.”

“Fine,” she agrees.

The ride over is quiet but comfortable and Nathan’s hand is warm on her knee. The store is deserted when they get there and the two of them have the run of it. Annie picks up some candy, a bottle of water and a case of beer. Nathan’s already at the register and when she sees he’s picked up the same case she has, Annie grins. They’re perfect for one another.

“You’re ready?” he calls over his shoulder and Annie nods.  Puts everything she picked up on the counter and turns to put the drinks back.

“Where are you going?”

 “We already have one,” she says, raising the carton of beer to eye level.

“Just leave it up here. They’ll put it back.”

She starts to put it down before picking it back up again. “No, I just—“

“Annie!”

“—have to put him back with his friends. He’ll be lonely, Nathan.”

She begins to sneak down the aisle on her tiptoes and when she glances back over her shoulder, laughing and expecting him to return it. He doesn’t smile. He just looks tired.

-

Annie’s pretty sure Nathan loves her, but she knows she can be clingy and obsessive and she doesn’t want to scare him off, so, instead of spending the night, she decides to go home. She readies herself to see her roommate when she walks in but Helen is, blessedly, nowhere in sight.

Annie walks into her room, throws her stuff down and is lying on her back in her bedroom, staring at the ceiling in the dark, when she hears the front door open and shut. Annie sighs and listens as Helen moves around the front room. She hears cabinet doors opening and closing, the _pop!_ of one of her insanely tall cans of tea opening and just when she thinks she’s safe, Helen comes flouncing in. She pushes the door wide, reaches her hand out to feel along the wall and flips the light switch on without saying a word.

“Good, you’re here,” she says when she finally sees Annie. “Did you finish reading my book?” she asks, ignoring the fact that Annie obviously wants to be left alone and that she, not five hours earlier, had humiliated her in front of their friends.

“Well,” she looks up and notices something in Helen’s hand. “That’s my cupcake,” Annie mutters.

“Oh, is it?” Helen asks before taking another bite. “I didn’t know.”

“There’s an A on it.”

“Yeah, but I thought that stood for anybody, you know, like _anybody can have it_.” 

Annie can feel herself getting angry.

“Now, about my novel—”

“Your _novel_?”

“Yes.”

“You want my advice on your novel?”

“Of course,” she answers quickly, sitting on the foot of Annie’s bed and pulling a small pad of paper and a pencil from the purse at her side. “I thought that was obvious.”

“Okay,” Annie replies lightly, sitting up. “Here’s what I think you need to do. Open it, highlight everything and I mean every  word, Helen. Don’t miss a single one.”

“ _Highlight every word,”_ she repeats before looking up eagerly. “Then what?”

“Hit backspace.”

“ _Hit back_ —” Helen starts before stopping short, her pencil stilling mid-scribble as her eyes narrow. “Wait a minute…”

“I think that would really improve the plotting issues and your problems with world building—”

“Hey!”

“It would make your novel _so_ much better, Helen. Seriously.”

“Annie!”

“Helen!” she mimics.

“Why would you say that?”

“Why not? You were trying to humiliate me earlier!”

“No, I wasn’t!”

“Yeah right!”

“Listen, okay,” she orders. “I had no clue that your bakery used to be there! I would never—“

“Steal my idea about Paris? Try to take my place in Lil’s wedding? Try to steal my best friend?” Annie’s mouth thins into a flat line. “You wouldn’t do any of that, right?”

Helen takes a breath, her eyes flying around the room before settling back on Annie as she stands. “I said I was sorry!”

“Really?” Annie asks, her voice high and whiney. “Did you say you were _really_ sorry?”

“Yes, I did and I meant it! Now I’m going to eat the rest of this cupcake whether you like it or not.”

Annie jumps up from the bed, brings her hand up and knocks the cupcake to the floor.  “ _Oops!_  I guess it doesn’t look so good anymore.”

Helen gasps, and stares at the inedible treat before raising her angry gaze and lowering her voice. “It never looked particularly good in the first place.”

“You’re lying!” Helen shrugs and it takes everything Annie has inside not to shove her. “I want to—”

“What?” Helen asks and suddenly she is a lot closer than she was a moment ago. Close enough for Annie to see the pulse fluttering at her throat. Close enough for Annie to smell the frosting on her breath and see the blush working its way across her chest. Then she’s thinking of Helen’s hands and the bed not two feet behind them and… Annie can’t remember what she was about to say anymore.

“What do you want to do? Huh?” Helen repeats, stepping even closer and Annie can feel the fabric of her dress against her arm. She takes a step back.

“I have to go.”

“No,” she orders. “We’re talking here.”

Annie ignores her, grabs her purse and practically runs to the front door. Herr heart’s beating out of her chest, she’s confused. She doesn’t even know what she’s running from.

“You can’t keep doing this, Annie!” Helen yells. “We’re going to have to discuss this at some point!”

Annie just slams the door.

-

Lil’s off being a newlywed, Nathan’s house isn’t an option and Annie doesn’t exactly have a ton of friends, so when she calls Megan and asks what she’s up to (“Taking the babies to puppy boot camp. Want to come?”), it's a pretty easy decision. It’s not like Annie has someplace to be.

Annie’s waiting when Megan pulls up, and she jumps into the car only to be immediately attacked by nine rambunctious puppies.

“Back! Get back in your seats guys,” Megan orders, peeling each wiggling body from Annie and putting them into the back seat of the station wagon.  She points her finger at them, “stay put,” then starts the car.

They drive silently for a moment. “Can I maybe stay over at your place tonight?” Annie finally asks. She didn’t want to say anything, but it’s not like she can go home. “I know it’s short—”

“Of course you can stay,” Megan replies before she can finish, then studies her for a second at a red light before asking, “What’s up with your face?”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s all,” she scrunches up her features, “pinched.”

“That’s just how my face looks and I don’t appreciate you commenting on it.”

Megan mulls that over before shaking her head. “No, something’s wrong. What is it?”

 “Me and Helen got into a fight.”

“You always do.”

“Yeah, but this one was serious! She ate my cupcake! But it wasn't even about that; I'm a pastry chef, I can get a cupcake whenever I want. I just lost it.” Seeing her makes me so angry and I don’t even know why.”

 “Sure you do. You wanna bone her.” Megan says like it’s obvious, and something inside Annie feels like it’s falling.

“Excuse me?”

“You like girls.”

And just like that, some previously overlooked piece in her mind smoothly slides into place. But it’s not that easy. It can’t be; nothing ever is when it comes to Annie. “I don’t think—”

“—and have pillow fights and—”

“Please stop—”

“You want to grab some breasts and scissor some vaginas—”

“Megan!”

“—you want to book two first class seats on the ‘Gina Express—”

“Oh god…”

“—become a fluent punani persuader—“

“What does that even mean?”

Megan pulls over and grabs her hands, suddenly serious. “I might work the pole but that’s okay, I don’t judge you! We’re still buds.”

 “Hold on! I’ve got a boyfriend and he is a man with various man parts that I really like to do stuff with.”

“You could purchase most of those parts, you know.”

“Shut up, Megan!”

“There’s a great sale on Babeland right now. They seriously have some amazing deals—”

“I loved—love! I’m _in_ _love_ with—Nathan,” Annie clarifies.

Megan shrugs. Doesn’t mean you don’t want to bone Helen.”

Annie shakes her head. “I don’t. What would my mom say?”

“You think she’d have a problem?”

She contemplates that for a moment and comes to her conclusion with a sigh. “Not really. I think she’ll be totally into it, actually.”

“You know who else would be totally into it?”

“Who?”

“Helen.”

“You think?” And that sounded way too hopeful but Megan doesn’t comment on it.

“Oh yeah, I got a little,” she flares her nostrils and Annie grimaces, “off of her too. Not as much as I did off you, but, you know. She shrugs. “It’s there is what I’m saying.”

Annie stares at her before glancing out of the passenger side window, stricken by what Megan’s saying and her own inability to refute it.

“You know, I’ve always known you were gay.”

“Really?” Annie asks. 

“Oh yeah, but then you started showing up places with that guy and I thought maybe I was wrong but, let me tell you, I’ve got amazing lesdar, Annie.”

“Of course you do, Megan.”

“ _Ah_ -mazing lesdar and you pinged it right from the beginning. I’m not at all surprised that this is happening right now.” She stops a red light and sucks the straw sticking out of the top of her ICEE while giving Annie a meaningful look. “What are you going to do about this?”

Annie opens her mouth to answer, then shuts it when she realizes she doesn’t have one.

-

The first thing Annie does, after Megan drops her off the next day, is run upstairs, knock on the door and when Lil opens it,  blurt out, “Megan says that I like girls.”

The expected burst of laughter and assurances to the contrary never come. Lil just seems thoughtful before finally speaking. “I owe Dougie five bucks.”

“Why?”

“He said you were gay.”

“What? When? “

“Yep, he completely called it the first time I introduced you two.”

“Does gay detection run in that family or something?”

“I guess it must.”

The awful tension inside of her breaks and they laugh as Annie steps inside. This is the first time she’s visited Lil and Doug’s new place and she can recognize certain things. The picture frame they brought from the mall. The salt and peppershakers she gave her for Lil’s 23rd birthday when they were both broke. She doesn’t recognize most of it though, and the Annie who destroyed a bachelorette party begins to resurface. She has to force her back.

They take a seat and Lil offers her something to eat; Annie declines and looks down at her hands, the gravity of the situation hitting her again. “What if I was?”

“Are you?”

Annie shrugs.

“You remember how much I hated strawberries when I was kid?”

She nods, even though she doesn’t get where Lil’s going with this.

“I hated them _so_ much and everyone loved them and I never knew why. Well, I ate one of those natural strawberry popsicles on the honeymoon, the ones with the seeds and stuff still in it, and my throat closed up so tight I had to go to the hospital.”

“Are you okay?” Annie asks, leaning forward in her seat but she quiets when Lil shushes her.

“I’m totally fine. I’m trying to tell you that my self-preservation or whatever knew I was allergic and that’s why I never liked them.  Ringing a bell?”

“ _Uhhhhhhh_ …”

“The reason you always went after those emotionally unavailable, completely douchey guys was because your vagina never liked penis.  It didn’t want one that would actually stick around too long.”

“Could you stop talking about my pussy like it’s a separate entity?”

“Fine. _You_ didn’t really like _men_ and picked bad ones because _you_ knew they wouldn’t stick around.”

“What about Nathan?”

“Last ditch effort for straightness?”

Annie rests her face in her hands. “Oh God…”

 “I don’t know! I’m just saying, look inside of yourself or whatever.  Maybe you actually do like him. There’s an amazing amount of ground between straight and gay, you know.” Lil touches her hand. “Really, you just need to ask yourself what it is that you want.”

Annie lifts her head and looks at her oldest friend. “Okay.”

“What do you want?”

“I want to sleep on your couch tonight.”

“Done. Anything else?”

She thinks for a moment. “I’d really love to borrow your kitchen.”

-

When Annie comes home, Helen’s sitting on the couch watching _E!_ _True Hollywood Story_ and pointedly ignoring her. For the moment, Annie lets her. She goes into her room, takes a bath and returns some calls before coming back out. Helen’s in the same spot she left her, watching the same exact thing.

“What, is it a marathon or something?”

“Looks like it,” Helen replies, still not looking away from the screen and Annie sits on the cushion next to her.

After a tense silence, Annie speaks. “About that fight—“

“It’s fine,” Helen quickly forgives, finally meeting Annie’s gaze. “It was two days ago. We both said stupid things we didn’t mean and we’re both sorry, right?”

Annie’s not so sure about regretting _everything_ she said but now isn’t the time. “Right.”

“So everything’s fine, then. Her  hand hovers above Annie’s shoulder and only lands for a moment before she pulls it away. “Let’s not fight anymore.”

“Yeah, let’s not.” They stare at one another. “I actually have something for you.” She reaches in her bag and pulls out a small clear to-go container. Helen gasps when she sees the cupcake inside.

“This one’s for you. It has an H on it and everything.”

“It’s beautiful,” Helen says, so seriously that Annie is sort of embarrassed. She takes a bite and nods enthusiastically. “Tastes good, too.”

Annie thinks, for just a moment, about that fight in her bedroom, about what Megan said; about telling Helen that the first time Annie saw her, she moved in slow motion. Then she thinks of Nathan and how much she still cares for him and puts it out of her mind—for now, at least. ~~~~

Helen takes another bite and smiles through a layer of frosting. Annie smiles back.

It’s a start.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much [sotto-voice](http://sotto-voice.livejournal.com/) for your comments and grammar help. I also need to thank [ishie](http://ishie.livejournal.com/) for giving me the quickest beta known to man.


End file.
